My name is Mary
by paint-pastel-princess
Summary: Hark! The story of Legolas's first love! But Lo! Will it be his last, for will he be doomed to walk the planet alone? Will he ever see her again?............... MARY SUE PARODY, let me enunciate PARODY PLEASE R&R!
1. Default Chapter

Authors note: The one thing that really annoys me about LOTR humour fanfic's are Mary-Sues (where the girl to steal the character's heart is based on the author.twitching.) and slash.(okay some are funny, but we all get seriously sic of Merry/Pippin pairings) so of course I have to add to the turmoil by creating yet another Mary Sue saga. (no I am not the Mary Sue thankgod) Yes it's a parody.. but in DISGUISE! Ba Ba BAAAAAAAAAA! Well sort of..the sappiness has been done on purpose.and its supposed to be funny.And I know I also seem to pay out Legolas in my fics but he is just so easy.I mean he does ask for it.but I do like legolas although there is a lot of legolas bashing. So just bear with me on this.PLEASE REVIEW! I LOVE GETTING REVIEWS!!!!!!!!!!! ( (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((()))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))  
  
  
  
One more thing, this is supposed to be corny and tryhard, so I guess you'd have to have my sense of humour to find it funny.WARNING.it will make you cringe.  
  
  
  
The one person Legolas was looking for was someone to spend his immortal life with. Someone special. Aragorn had Arwen, Sam had Rosie, Faramir had Eowyn. But lo! Was there no-one for Legolas Greenleaf Prince of Mirkwood? Surely such a fate would not be withheld for a being so pure?  
  
Many moments Legolas had spent pondering over this unearthly punishment. It seemed unjust. Surely by now one should hast found that special being, that special soul in which to share many moments of fear, joy and laughter and sorrow. After all, he was over three thousand years old. When will this person show herself to him?  
  
But perhaps to the ignorance of Legolas's many pondering thoughts, this person may not be of the same race. Maybe she will be other than one of the graceful elves of Mirkwood and Rivendell. Maybe she will not even be an elf altogether. Legolas had never even thought that perhaps this one soul might be one of the races of men. It had happened to Arwen, her love being Aragorn son of Arathorn King of Gondor. Yet this possibility has never even crossed the Elf Princes mind. And maybe this was the reason he had spent his days walking among the forest alone.  
  
Possibly the girl destiny had provided to Legolas was the particular girl mentioned in this tale of woe, treachery and love. Or perhaps not. But one thing to be sure, she was the closest thing that Legolas ever came to true happiness.  
  
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They met on a Sunny day just outside Rivendell. The sunlight dappled through the trees leaving spots of sun and shade, a ready choice to ones desire. Birds sang in their sweet tongues, which only they could understand. It was a beautiful day.  
  
Legolas was following a path down to a small stream, which he enjoyed relaxing by on days like this. He followed the chattering sound the brook made as the water spilt over its pebbles, but then perked up his ears. Hark! A beautiful sound was floating around through the air, weightless and carefree. Someone was singing, someone who had a beautiful voice, like the tinkling of bells. Legolas peered through the ferns and squinted, for the brook cast a bright glare of the sun that bounced up and met his eyes. Because of this, he could only see the figures silhouette, but this was enough for the lonely elf to get his first impression.  
  
The girl was sitting on a log that stretched over the stream. Her long slender figure was in a relaxed poise and was covered by what seemed to be just a single sheet wrapped around several times and clipped with a tatty fastener. The breeze caressed he long brown hair, spun in perfect ringlets.  
  
Legolas stood there, completely confounded by this beauty. Why had he never seen her before? What was she doing here? And more importantly.who is she?  
  
He had paused a moment to long. The girl stopped singing, her last note choking and ending ever so suddenly. She subconsciously raised the back of her hand to her forehead as if to salute, Alas! She let out a small weak cry and seemed to faint. Her torso seemed to suddenly weaken as though completely giving up and she slid of the log, landing in the brook face down.  
  
Legolas gave a surprised cry and sprang out of the bushes. The fair maiden could drown; face down unconscious, in water. He darted over the rocks, not caring he was completely soaking his boots. There were more important things to worry about.  
  
He reached her and rolled her over. He slid one arm under her neck and the other around her waist and picked her up. He then set her down next to the stream on a soft path of small grass, covered in budding daisies. He brushed her now wet curls out of her face and studied her. She had pale skin; the colour of freshly fallen snow covering her square cut face and jaw line with defined features. Her nose was small relatively pointy and her mouth was small, and blood red.  
  
She blinked several times and gave a dainty cough, which matched her sweet flawless voice. She then opened her eyes, each a large circle of character, a deep violet colour. Yes violet, and Legolas knew that is not a common colour of the elves. Then it dawned on Legolas. She was not an elf, but a human. But then, nay, humans do not have eyes of deep violet either. But the rest of her features proved she was human.  
  
'Who, pray tell are you?' Legolas asked once she had regained full consciousness although she was still lying down where he left her.  
  
'You saved my life, dear elf, I am forever in your debt.' She managed to mutter, her voice a little raspy, but the sweet natural tone very obvious behind the suffering.  
  
'Not at all, all debt hath been repaid if you would give me your name. I would be Legolas, Legolas Greenleaf of Mirkwood. And who might you be?'  
  
'My name is that of a tongue I cannot reveal.'  
  
'Why does one be so secretive?'  
  
'Why is one so interested?'  
  
The Elf slunk back defeated. Then he attacked forth once more, in desperation.  
  
'I beg of you, a name, for you have knowledge of mine.'  
  
The beautiful girl sighed, looking extremely sad. The love struck Elf could only think how beautiful she looked when she was upset.  
  
'The only name I may leave with you is Mary.now I fear I must leave.' She got up but Legolas grabbed her arm.  
  
'Please, may I see you again? I wouldst die a thousand deaths if you just leave me here.'  
  
'I-I must go!' And with that, she tore her arm from his grip and fled into the nearby forest, leaving our prince feeling very forlorn. Never before had he ever felt this way about a person.  
  
It was final, he had to find her, and he had to see her again. He had to find the human with the beautiful long hair, with the snow-white skin, the rose red lips, and the voice that would spread envy among angels themselves.  
  
He loved her, he loved "Mary."  
  
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HAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!! How corny is it? Ah, well, I suppose that is the point isn't it? Will Master Greenleaf ever find his true love again.? I'll write more if I get some reviews for this, I love reviews! Please review! ((( 


	2. The second meeting

PLEASE READ  
  
This is meant to be a SUBTLE insult of Mary Sues.its not serious!! I cant stress that enough.. and corny as hell.make of it what you will.... you'd have to have my humour to find it slightly funny though.Please review! I love reviews!  
  
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After meeting the beautiful wandering stranger, namely Mary, Legolas Greenleaf hadn't felt the same.  
  
He always had felt in his heart that there was something missing, and he didn't know what could replace it. But as soon as he revived her and glimpsed her beautiful, yet unusual violet eyes he knew what he was missing and what could fill up that morbid hole.  
  
Mary. Mary was the only person who could. But who was she? Where did she come from? Why was had he never seen her before? And why had she not wanted to tell him her name? Would he ever see her again?  
  
The latter burnt his heart to cinders. What would he do without her?  
  
Days began to stretch.from seeming like weeks to months, to years to immortal lifetimes.yet they were all still only 24 hours each.  
  
He had not told anyone about her, for he felt her memory was sacred for some reason, but why he did not know.  
  
Several days later, He was riding his horse Ethielwen through some thick scrublands several hours East of Rivendell. For most people, this place was out of their league, for information told that occasionally untrustworthy folk ventured through. But Legolas, undeterred, travelled through, although unaware of what to expect.  
  
The sun was shining brightly though the trees as Ethielwen's hooves crunched the dry, dead grass. Although, travelling at a casual trot, for the Elf was in no hurry, she stopped suddenly, and jerked her head up as if trying to shake something off her nose, and insect of some sort.  
  
Legolas rubbed his brown companions neck gently, whispering kind words to her. She was a good beast, with flawless eyesight and hearing and she never betrayed his trust, so although not worried Legolas was slightly confused at her sudden halt. With a little encouragement she started off.but in another direction.  
  
'Etheilwen, where are you going?' he called to make himself heard as her lazy trot changed into an enthusiastic canter.  
  
The Horse darted through bush and around tree when she slowed and stopped again. And then Legolas heard what had set her off. That beautiful voice, that familiar, tinkling, crystal clear song drifting through the air as it had that day not long ago just outside Rivendell. Faint though, so very faint as though she was still far away. He rubbed Etheilwen again congratulating her on her unique hearing and started her off again in the direction of the beautiful voice. For he was sure that this voice was Mary, Never before had he heard anyone sing like that.  
  
It was a few minutes before he marked where she was. He peered through a large shrub, remembering how she scarpered last time and was careful not to be seen, for the time being anyway. What he did see though, made his heart melt, then plummet to his feet.  
  
She was scraped up, with cuts and dirt on her arms. She was wearing not what seemed to be the tatty sheet that she wore on their first meeting, but what once in its day was a beautiful robe of shimmering blue, was now dirty, faded, tattered and frayed. Her perfect curls were tied back with a piece of ripped material, but with a single white flower hanging out and over. She had her back to him and was tending to something. Legolas silently moved a few leaves out the way to get a better view and was only just able not to gasp.  
  
What it seemed to be was a home, if that's what you wanted to call it. It was a lot of dead branches leaning over each other, and underneath, a cooking pot, some odd herbs, which he didn't recognise, an old sheet spread out, possibly a bed, and a few meagre possessions scattered here and there. There was a little circle of rocks and some burnt ashes in the middle, just outside as well, most likely where she cooks. But the most surprising thing was, a beautiful necklace hung above the bed, simple looking but Legolas was sure that the large stone in it was a true sapphire as it shimmered blue in the light.  
  
Beautiful Mary.is homeless? Ai, it could not be! Yet was else could all this mean?  
  
Mary gave a weak cough (Zoolander anyone?) and rested one hand on a tree trunk to support her. Legolas's heart ached to see her like this.and wondered why she was.  
  
Without warning she turned around and spotted Legolas there concealed in the bushes. She froze, her round violet eyes widened with surprise.  
  
'What, are you-you doing here?' She questioned looking at him closely. The Elf was sure she recognised him, and he didn't know what to say.  
  
'Mary, you're bleeding.' was all he could muster. Pity. He scrambled out of the bush and took her cut arm in his hand, stroking it with his thumb, inspecting it. Mary slipped her arm out of his grasped and clasped it with her free hand. She wrinkled her little nose.  
  
'You cannot be here.' She whispered. 'Please leave.'  
  
'Not until you tell me what you are doing here.'  
  
'I live here.'  
  
'But why.?'  
  
'I-I cannot tell you,' she breathed. She looked so weak and helpless. It was no surprise that she collapsed the other day. She looked as though she might collapse now.  
  
Etheilwen trotted cautiously out of the bushes. She shook her beautiful shiny black mane and let out a neigh. Mary's attention was diverted from Legolas to his steed. She reached out a hand and stroked Etheilwen down between the eyes.  
  
'Beautiful horse,' she smiled. Her smile was warm, and even if it wasn't for him, her smile filled him with joy and hope. He felt invincible.  
  
Etheilwen nuzzled her head against Mary's cheek. Mary let out a small laugh, which would soften even the coldest of hearts. Etheilwen had never taken to a person so fast.Mary had a definite affinity with animals.  
  
Legolas knew what he had to ask her. It was love he felt, yes without doubt.  
  
'Come back to Rivendell with me.'  
  
Mary froze, her hand rubbing Etheilwen's neck.  
  
Legolas held his breath. Would she, once again, run from him like a startled faun?  
  
No, she didn't even look at him. 'It would be folly.'  
  
'Tell me why!'  
  
'I cannot!' she said, but she was weakening. 'I don't belong anywhere.I am like the ranger.  
  
Legolas remembered Aragorn or "Strider." This was not so. Aragorn belonged to Gondor.  
  
'But you could belong! Come with me!' Mary gently eased herself to he ground, although she was in pain.  
  
'I was made to leave from whence I came from.' She whispered as though the very memory still haunted her dreams. Legolas sat down beside her, concerned. She continued. 'I was arranged to marry a man from when I was very young. He was a lot older that I, twenty four years to be exact. I did not want to but in my city, women like me did not have that choice.' She sighed as a tear fell from her eye.  
  
'When I was sixteen we were married. I did not want to, for he was a murderer of animals, a hunter, who considered himself a sportsman. He was a rude, drunk who believed I was like a slave to him. He was a very cruel, cruel man.  
  
Legolas reached over and gave her gentle hand a squeeze, but she did not seem to notice. She shed more tears.  
  
'But what about your family? Did they not know what you were going through?'  
  
My mother died just after the wedding.she had pneumonia. My father left when I was very young, most say he is dead as well. I have no brothers or sisters. I could not be helped. So I did what seemed the only thing I could do, I ran away. I gathered a few possessions, and fled the village.'  
  
There was a silence. Legolas felt such a huge pity for this beautiful girl. He wanted to do for her all he could.  
  
'I have lived out here for about two and a half years. But in the last six months I have not been well.I often collapse.feel very short of energy. I do not know if it can be cured.' She stopped short and seemed to choke on a few tears. She wiped her eyes.  
  
'You cannot tell anyone. I belive my husband is around and he will kill me if he gets wind that I am alive. Oh, Ai, How I hate him!'  
  
Legolas got down on one knee in front of her.  
  
'Come back with me to Rivendell, when we can perhaps cure you, and keep you safe. No-one need know.'  
  
'Why are you so nice to me fair elf?'  
  
Legolas wanted to tell her he loved her but maybe she already knew. He thought it was best not to answer. If you are comfortable with the person you love silence is best. If you are in the same room together. You don't need to say anything.Its for real.*  
  
L egolas helped her wrap up her few possessions in her blanket to take with her. He then placed the beautiful sapphire necklace around her neck, although she refused to tell where she got it.  
  
He helped her mount Etheilwen and sat behind her so he could support her if she felt faint, as she was so weak. He was above the clouds.  
  
  
  
  
  
* This is quoted from something that Britney Spears said about her fantastic relationship with Justin Timberlake (well fiddle dee dee) I thought its overload of corny ness was perfect for this cringe fest of a story ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((())))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))  
  
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!! This story is painful to write.really! My gosh, o well, ITS MEANT TO BE HIDEOUSLY LAME !!!!!!! ITS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY!!!!!!!! please review! I love reviews.new chapter coming up sometime soon.god forbid. 


	3. Can only make you stronger

Okay, once again, I cant stress enough that this is a very sarcastic fanfic and if you take it seriously, no only will you think I am incredibly lame and unimaginative, but yeah..... Please review! I really love reviews!  
  
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Etheilwen's hooves clopped steadily over the stony path, basically gliding as if the trusty steed was on wheels.  
  
Legolas marvelled at the faith in which he could lay upon his horse. Its was almost as though she knew the importance of the person she carried.  
  
That person, if our readers can remember was of course Mary. Weak as weak could be, her eyes would stay closed. But her true beauty would show through, as she would use her last morsel of energy to rub Etheilwen's side and egg the horse on, thank her steed for her service. This make Legolas's heart ache with gratitude toward the beautiful maiden.  
  
It was toward the end of the day, and the sun was sinking in the horizon. Mary had temporarily collapsed which disappointed Legolas. He was hoping to share the sunset with her, but it was not to be so.  
  
The sun lowered itself gracefully and up rose a shining full moon bathed in all its glory. Legolas clung to Mary to keep her steady. Her slim figure was shaking, which worried him. He knew that, amongst elves, shaking wasn't a natural defect, but he didn't believe she was a full mortal. She couldn't be. She was too fair, too good natured, too beautiful.  
  
Or was he being discriminative? Was it that there was a perfect human in this world? To his knowledge, each human had a weakness or a bad trait. But just from the brief encounters he had with her, for the first time in his life he believed he had found the perfect mortal.  
  
He felt her move as she opened those beautiful violet eyes of hers. She gave a small, yawn and stretched her ands up to the heavens. She gave a small cough and sighed.  
  
'Look.' She aimed one finger at the perfect moon. 'It is the midnight sun. (1) It is so beautiful.'  
  
Legolas's heart warmed to hear her speak in that soft voice of hers. It was like a fresh breeze to his ears.  
  
'There is an old, elvish song about the moon.' He suddenly remembered out loud.  
  
She turned her head around. 'Could you sing it for me?'  
  
'I'm afraid I cannot remember..cannot remember it. But there was the line, Let daytime moon give forth to the midnight sun." his voice trailed off. They both rode in silence for a few minutes gazing at the circular orb in all its glory, listening to the steady hooves, before Mary collapsed again, draping a tired chin over Legolas's arm.  
  
Legolas however was deep in thought as new answers and possibilities entwined his troubled mind. Who was this man that Mary was forced to marry? What right was it of his to treat her the way he felt fit. It was wrong, so terribly wrong, to beat upon a being as pure as Mary. Mary, the lover of animals and nature. Mary, the girl with the voice that would challenge the angels themselves. Mary the girl he felt he loved.  
  
Yes loved. He knew he was in love, for what else could this be?  
  
He loosened the reigns of Etheilwen, when he felt a strangle line running across Mary's back, for her garment was so thin. He gently ran his forefinger over it and needed to only once to be able to tell what they were. Scars. Long thin scars that bore the wrongdoers hate, abuse and dangerous obsession.  
  
Legolas hung his head a muttered a quiet almost silent lament for Mary in Quenya. The oldest of all elvish. It sickened him, scorched his heart and soul to think that someone could abusively lay a hand on Mary.  
  
As the sound of the babbling brook drew near, Legolas knew that he was drawing close to Rivendell. He peered over the trees and could see the brook in which Mary had collapsed in earlier on Moonlight filtered through the trees only to be reflected off its cold surface back into the heavens.  
  
He reached the house of Elrond and lifted Mary gently off Etheilwen, her being as light as a feather. He gave his steed and encouraging rub and whispered his thanks for her care. Etheilwen nuzzled her head in his hand and left.  
  
He carried her up the stairs into one of the empty rooms, avoiding everyone. He felt he could not explain his treasure he held, for he felt as though he had strayed into a dream. (2)  
  
He lay her down on a bed and tucked a silvery cloak around her. Then he pulled over a chair to her side and settled down. He had planned to be there when she woke up to answer any of her questions. He gently picked up her hand and gently held it in his. It was cold, and the fear that radiated forth brought tears to his eyes. A single tear dropped off his cheek and landed on her hand. Almost instantly a wave of heat swept through her body, although the only sign of movement she showed was the steady rise and fall of her chest when breathing.  
  
Legolas gave her hand a comforting squeeze. He was here with her, and that was what mattered. For he loved her.  
  
She gently opeaned her eyes only a slit. Her breathing stopped, which caught the Elfs attention.  
  
"What.Whatever does not kill me.may only make me stronger..I cannot thank you enough.Prince of Mirkwood.." She whispered. Then she gently closed her eyes and went back to sleep, with Legolas by her side.  
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Midnight Sun.I have to thank Amara Shelton for that one.she gave me the idea for that. Thanks! And thanks for reviewing the prev. chapt!  
  
Strayed into a dream...Yes I took that straight from the first LOTR film..don't kill me....  
  
O MY Gosh that was bad, boring and made me cringe the whole way through..mwahahahahaha.And sorry to Leggy fans.but come on, he is easy to pay out. Please review and remember..this is not serious!!!!!!!!!!! Chapt 4 will most likely be just as bad. 


	4. The necklace of death

Its been a while but I decided to torture you with another chapter of my Shakespeare in Love- Legolas style. THIS HAS PARODY WRITTEN ALL OVER IT!!!!! THE MORON WHO TOOK IT SERIOUSLY SAYING HOW CORNY I WAS IN A REVIEW WAS LAUGHED AT AND DELETED!! Okay my rage is over, im really not that mean a person..please review..(  
  
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Legolas stayed by her beside all night frightened to leave as though as soon as he did, she would perhaps disappear. He watched her torso heave up and down with every breath drawn from her painful dreams, Her rosy mouth partly open.  
  
Her gentle slender fingers rested on the quilt as if to represent fragility, but tranquillity.  
  
Hour passed, The Elf remained motionless.  
  
Arwen glided in a long white candle to light her way.  
  
'Dear Elf, my father is worried about you. Please, we beg of you, get some rest. For she is safe here and may you both sleep well this night.' She motioned to the door.  
  
'Arwen, I do heed you words, but it would put my heart at great ease to be with her till dawn. Can you not see her state? Surely, she needs someone to watch over her.'  
  
'Legolas, please, you need some rest. My father and I will watch her, we swear.'  
  
Legolas sighed. 'Only if you promise too keep a good eye upon her.' Arwen nodded.  
  
'She means many things to you does she not?'  
  
'She means all of middle earth, the forests, the seas and the cities.' Legolas lowered his voice. 'I believe I love her.'  
  
Arwen sat down next to him and took his hands in hers. 'Then I give you my blessing. Now go.'  
  
Legolas stood up and headed for the door. He stopped and turned for a minute then headed out.  
  
* * * *  
  
Dawn was upon Rivendell. Legolas rolled over and opened his eyes as the orange sunlight filtered the room. He had not slept much at all but what did it matter? He had Mary in his life now. He was whole.  
  
He glided out on the balcony and down to where Mary was sleeping. He peered around the doorframe, but no one was there. Neither Arwen nor Mary.  
  
Confused Legolas thought for a moment. Where was she? He rubbed his eyes to look at the sky. Gleaming dawn was beginning to fade. A cold breeze ruffled his robes, as they were taken over by rolling grey clouds that ate everything in their path. Spots of cold rain landed on his chin and then his hands.  
  
There was something wrong. Something terribly wrong.  
  
'Mary?' He called. His voice echoed around the weaving pattern of the house of Elrond. But he heard nothing but silence.  
  
It began to rain harder.  
  
'MARY!' He yelled desperately quickening his pace.  
  
There was a clap of thunder as it began to pour. Te Princes hair was soaked and clung to his face and scalp and he was soaked to the bone. But that was not important. Mary was.  
  
'Legolas! Legolas!' A voice called from one of the courtyards. The rain poured down so hard now, he couldn't make out where they were. But it wasn't Mary. He knew her voice like he knew his.  
  
'Who is it?' Legolas called back, struggling to make his voice heard over the rain. 'Pray tell me where thou are!'  
  
'Its Arwen! I am down here, near the fountain of fortune!'  
  
'Stay there! Legolas slipped down the stairs and could see a tall wet figure. He grabbed her hands tightly.  
  
'Where is Mary?' he yelled, the rain beating down.  
  
Arwen pulled him undercover. 'Last night she took a turn for the worse. I called for my father, and we had to move her into the main hall. We have covered her in blankets to keep her warm but there is nothing more my father can do. We don't know what is wrong, therefore we cant heal her.'  
  
Legolas grew angry. 'I though you assured me you would watch her.'  
  
'I did, I did as good as job as you could have done. But come, now is not the time to quarrel. I will take you to her.'  
  
'I apologize dear Arwen, you did a good job and I cannot thank you enough. If it were not for you pray tell, she might not be breathing now.'  
  
Mary had been set upon a bed near a roaring fire with heated up the whole hall. Legolas fled to her side.  
  
'Oh Mary, Mary, please I am sorry. I should have been there.'  
  
Legolas felt a gentle hand on his shoulder. 'Do not feel badly young prince. You did for her all you could do.' It was Elrond.  
  
Legolas got down on his knees and gripped at the hem of Elronds robes. 'Bless you Lord Elrond. I owe you everything.'  
  
Elrond lifted Legolas. You owe me nothing.' He sighed and focused on Mary. 'She may heal, with time. But she may not. Although there is nothing more I can do. I have never seen a situation like this in all my long years.  
  
Legolas knelt beside her. He looked her over once, twice before he stopped.  
  
The necklace. The one with the big blue sapphire that she owned. Did she normally wear it? He remembered placing it around her neck when he found her. But before that it was hanging up above her bed and it didn't look like she wore it often.  
  
She was wearing it now. The big blue stone was glowing.  
  
Legolas picked it up. It fit perfectly in the palm of his hand, but he dropped it almost straight away.  
  
'Ai, It is boiling hot.'  
  
'Curious,' Elrond mumbled. He leaned over for a closer look. 'I never noticed it before, it was under her cloak. Do you cow where she got it?'  
  
'Ay, she had it when I found her, it was one of her few possessions. She didn't look like she wore it often. I placed it around her neck as we left.'  
  
'Did she look well when you found her?'  
  
'She had a few scratches, and some long scars on her back. I think someone may have whipped her.'  
  
'But Legolas, was she functioning by herself?'  
  
'Yes. But why?'  
  
Elrond slipped the necklace from around her swan neck. Almost immediately some of the colour that had drained from her face retuned, leaving her with her original hues.  
  
The Elf's eyes widened. 'You mean to say.'  
  
Elrond nodded. 'This necklace is the cause of it all. Are you informed of where she got it?'  
  
'I asked but she refused to tell.'  
  
'I see.'  
  
'What was it doing to her?'  
  
'I believe someone bewitched this necklace, to make it drain energy from the wearer. It can be assumed who ever she got it from, wants her dead. If we left it on, it would most likely have succeeded.  
  
'Oh my. Why? She is beautiful, flawless, why would anyone want her dead?'  
  
Elrond shook his head. 'Can you think of anyone who would resent her?'  
  
Legolas closed his eyes for a second. 'Her husband. She was forced to marry a wastrel much older that she who abused her. She ran away and told me if he finds her, he will kill her. Her husband gave her that noose of death. Clearly she doesn't know about its power.'  
  
Elrond gave a solemn nod. He placed the necklace on the table and glided out the room, leaving Legolas with his polyphony of thoughts.  
  
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I think melodramatic is a word that sums up this chapter. THE RETURN OF EVIL JEWELERY! HAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!! Well I found this hysterically painful to write. And im sorry, but if you take this seriously and leave a review saying how corny it was then you really suck. Sorry but its true. Please Review! ( 


	5. Wormtounge uh returns

Yes, my friends, It has been a long while. I apologise for those who have some interest however minimal it may be. And this will be a very short chapter as I only have half an hour.  
  
But for now, our woes aside and let us embed ourselves in the tangled tale of ardor and misfortune that is Legolas's love life. Please review!  
  
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The evil necklace shimmered in the candlelight. Legolas watched it on the table, thinking. This necklace had almost killed his beloved. He picked it up and examined it once more. Its searing heat had began to fade. The prince glowed with anger. How could anyone want to hurt one such as his Mary? He vowed there and then he would find her ex husband and bring him to justice.  
  
But lo! What was this? Mary was beginning to come around. Her eyes fluttered open weakly revealing their violet glimmer, not as prominent as before, but still there. She saw Legolas standing over here and smiled weakly.  
  
'Where am I?' she whispered, her voice as light as a feather in a gentle spring breeze.  
  
'Rivendell.' Do you not remember anything?' Legolas grasped her hand. It was so cold.  
  
'I remember, weakness ... a terrible weakness. Why I felt I shall never be well again.'  
  
'Do not worry. For you are safe. We found the cause of your ill health.' He held up the necklace. 'Pray tell me, Where did you get this?'  
  
Mary's eyes widened with fear. 'Oh! I cannot say!'  
  
'But that is what you said before!'  
  
'Dear prince, you must understand, it is for your safety that I do not tell.'  
  
'This trinket was making you sick. It drained you lifesource. If we didn't realise this you could have died. Oh! I feel dreadful, for it was I who placed it around your neck!'  
  
Mary offered him a weak smile. 'Do not feel bad. For you were not to know.' She squeezed his hand.  
  
'At least tell me this. Who was your husband?'  
  
Mary let out a long sigh and summoned up her remaining energy.  
  
'He was a man twenty four years my senior. Although he looked no younger than one of sixty years. He was revolting. Simply dreadful. We were married at his wish and the remains of my family had mind to get rid of me. For there is no place for a tomboy fighter among them. They did not like me being able to fend for myself. However, my defensive powers only served me four a few days, as he began to beat me hourly. With a horsewhip. Or a wooden board. Or the poker he used to poke our fireplace with. He'd go out, gamble, drink, kill some poor defenceless animal, beat a child, and smoke a vile smelling weed. Then he'd come home in a drunken rage.'  
  
Mary stopped and drew a shuddering breath. Tears had began to spill from her eyes. Legolas gripped her hand encouragingly. 'Go on.'  
  
'He'd come home and demand me. Whenever he wanted. Oh, I was so weak. He told me if I ran away, he'd find me and kill me. I risked everything to leave. Bu it was worth it.' Mary looked Legolas Square in the eye, tears spilling like gentle raindrops. 'Because I met you.'  
  
They sat in silence for a few moments, savouring this divine moment. Until the meteor hit.  
  
'His name was Grima. Grima Wormtounge.'  
  
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GACK?  
  
Yes that sums it up well. I couldn't decide between Wormtail (sorry TOUNGE), Bill Ferny or Sauron. However, I think it is difficult to have a martial relationship with a large fiery eye who has already been vanquished.  
  
Join us soon for a pile of corny crap also known as next chapter of the most over dramatic redundant parody on ff.net  
  
Please review! 


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